


Caffeine Junk

by Kisho



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Coffee, Drinking, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-23 23:30:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2559779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kisho/pseuds/Kisho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barba has an addiction, and Amaro tries to help. He then learns there are deeper problems beyond caffeine</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Barba sat upright the moment he heard the door to his office open. He had been struggling to stay up and was just about to doze off. Taking a sip of his coffee, Barba stood up.  
"Did you catch a case?" He asked. Amaro nodded as he took out some papers from a file he was holding.  
"The victim's name is Emily Valentine. Her friend's boyfriend, who she happened to be having an affair with, showed up at her house and beat her when she wanted to break it off. His DNA shows up on her rape kit, and she looks pretty bad...counselor?"  
Barba had been trying to keep his head up, but his eyelids felt so heavy. He hadn't been able to get a wink of sleep due to stress. Barba took in a deep breath and lightly shook his head.  
"Sorry." He took another sip from his coffee and looked at the cup. "I probably need something stronger."  
As he was about to take another sip, Amaro snatched the drink from his hand. Barba stared at him in disbelief as Amaro drank the rest of his lukewarm coffee, not looking away from his eyes. What an audacious man.  
"You shouldn't be so dependent of coffee. It's messing up your sleep patterns." Barba glared at Amaro and walked back over to his desk. He picked up the phone on his desk and called his secretary.  
"Jane, will you bring me another cup of coffee? Perhaps something stronger than the one earlier? Thank you." Amaro shook his head as Barba hung up. "You were briefing me about the case?"  
"Will you be able to stay awake long enough to hear it?" Amaro scoffed.  
"Very funny," Barba snapped, "just finish up." Amaro rolled his eyes.  
"Alright fine," Amaro glanced at the papers, "what do you remember?" Barba became frustrated when he realized he didn't remember most of it.  
"Just start from the beginning again."  
Jane walked in with Barba's cup of coffee, which Amaro was displeased with. Barba muttered a "thank you" to her and drank it.  
"You're worse than an alcoholic."  
"Would you just stop?" Barba snarled. "I haven't been able to sleep lately, and I extremely tired." Amaro studied Barba's face. His face was a bit pale, and his eyes were slightly red. Barba sighed and took the files from Amaro and went back to his desk.  
"I'll look them over today, so you can leave."  
"Why?" Barba stared at Amaro with a peculiar expression.  
"Why what?" Amaro raised his eyebrows.  
"Why haven't you been able to sleep?" Barba shook his head and turned his attention to the papers.  
"That doesn't concern you." Amaro bit his bottom lip and sighed. He sat down on the seat in front of Barba's desk and said nothing for a while.  
"I mean, if it's affecting your work doesn't it concern all of us?" Barba reached over for his coffee, but Amaro snatched it away. He shook it mockingly and smirked slightly. Barba glanced at the clock and saw it was almost 9:30 p.m. He stuffed the file in his briefcase and got up to leave.  
"Ya me voy and you no longer have business here. Ya vete." He muttered.  
A moment passed, and Barba left the room. Amaro quickly followed after him. Barba pretended not to notice, desperately hoping that his destination just happened to be in the same direction Barba was going. When Barba arrived at the elevator, Amaro stood next to him wordlessly. Barba had always avoided going in the same elevator as Amaro ever since their little spat during the case against Muñoz. He winced at the thought of his closest friend and noted that he needed to have a cup of his scotch when he got home.  
The elevator opened, and they both went inside. No one else entered, so Barba decided to speak up.  
"Are you following me, Detective?" Amaro slightly smiled.  
"Maybe." Barba sighed and pressed the floor button he needed.  
"You know I have no intentions of letting you inside my house." Amaro shook Barba's coffee cup and drank some of it.  
"Do you think you'll be able to stay awake long enough to get home?" Barba was tempted to snatch the coffee cup back, but he decided against it. It was too childish for someone like him to do.  
"Are you driving me home detective?" Barba muttered, remembering saying something similar to that the last they were in an elevator together. Amaro caught that and chuckled softly.  
"That was plan." The elevator opened, and they stepped off. Barba hesitated, but then sighed and tossed Amaro his keys. Amaro grinned at his victory and followed Barba to his car. It was a small black car that seemed expensive. No surprise there.  
"I'll tell you how to get there," Barba said, "it's not far from here." Amaro nodded and sat in the driver's seat.  
As they were driving, Barba mumbled the directions but tried to say nothing more. His eyelids were slowly becoming heavier again as he watched scenery pass by.  
"Hey, you gotta stay awake." Amaro placed a hand on Barba's shoulder, shaking it slightly. At his touch, Barba drowsiness went away, and Barba sat up. A realization suddenly came to him.  
"How exactly do you plan on getting home?" Barba asked, already guessing the answer.  
"Guess I'll just stay at your house tonight then," Amaro mused. Barba rolled his eyes.  
"No."  
"It's the least you could do since I am driving you home."  
"You were probably going to do that even if I said no," Barba snapped.  
"Look, I'll help you look over the files tonight. I'll keep you up so you don't have to rely on coffee," Amaro offered. Barba let out a deep breath and rubbed his nasal bridge.  
"Fine," he said after a while, "do whatever you want. Now make a left here."  
They finally arrived at the apartment Barba lived in. Amaro parked the car, and they entered the building. When they went inside Barba's room, he could tell Amaro was surprised by his lack of cleanliness. The floor was covered with scattered papers and the kitchen had several dirty dishes. Barba groaned when he realized he had forgotten the state of his room. He begrudgingly walked in and opened his briefcase.  
"Sorry, it's not usually like this," he sighed and took out the files. When he looked up, he saw Amaro staring at him a bit concerned. He ignored it and sat down on his seat, motioning for Amaro to do the same.  
"What exactly is bothering you, Rafael?" Barba was a slightly surprised at him using his first name.  
"You're persistent, Detective." Barba noted glancing at the papers.  
Emily Valentine, age 24, was assaulted by-  
"Is it Muñoz?" Amaro pressed on, leaning forward in his chair. Barba glared at him.  
"Déjalo ir, Nick." Barba warned, gripping the paper a little harder than necessary. He hated the way Amaro was looking at him, full of concern. He liked it better when he didn't seem to care about Barba. He definitely needed something right now. Whether coffee to keep him up or scotch to drown out everything. He decided on the later, since he knew there was no way Amaro was letting him have coffee. Which was ridiculous.  
He got up and headed over to the kitchen, completely aware that Amaro was watching him. He poured himself a glass and down it in one go. When he poured himself another cup, Amaro stood up.  
"Sorry, I probably should have offered you a glass." Amaro shook his kept his eye on Barba's precious scotch. "No, you're definitely not taking my scotch away." Barba downed the second cup in go again to prove a point.  
"Drinking isn't going to make your problems go away, Rafael." Barba refilled his drink, already feeling dizzy. Amaro placed a hand on the cup, but didn't snatch it away. "Rafi, what's wrong?" Barba flinched at the nickname. No one had called him that since Yelina. Barba tried to drink his third cup, but Amaro kept a firm grasp on the cup. "You shouldn't be so hung up on that clown, look at what it's doing to you?"  
"Shut the fuck up, Nick." Barba snarled. "You don't anything about him! But I do, and I know that's he's a good person inside!But I can't tell him that because he refuses to speak to me. I betrayed my best friend, and everyone who I cared about! So just shut up!" Barba felt tears spilling out, and he quickly wiped them away embarrassed. He gave up on the cup, leaving it to Amaro and sat down on his seat. The tears kept coming, and he couldn't stop them. His head hurt, he was partially drunk, and he was breaking down in front of Amaro. Barba desperately needed to get out of there.  
He quickly got up and locked himself in his room, not caring how rude it was. Amaro knocked on the door softly, hoping Barba would open it.  
"You can stay in the guest room, now goodnight." He said, struggling to keep his voice ready. Amaro sat against Barba's door. He wanted to help out the smaller man, but he had too many walls up. And he had very little power to make those walls come crumbling down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amaro finally learns about Barba's inner demon

He had his hand on the door handle, but for the longest time he kept it there. It was pretty early in the morning, so it was most likely Amaro was sleeping in the guest room. However, he did not want to leave the safety of his room.  
Here, Barba was safe from those who were curious to know why he was slowly breaking apart. Safe from their chants that they were there for him. No. He is the only one who could be there for himself 24/7. Everyone else will slowly lose interest and walk away.  
Barba took a deep breath and finally opened the door. As he suspected, Amaro was peacefully sleeping in the guest room. He decided to quickly make his coffee before waking the detective up.  
When the coffee was done and poured inside the cup, Barba went to the guest room and knocked on the door loudly. Amaro opened his eyes, confused for a bit. When he became aware of Barba, he realized where he was and sat up. As Amaro sat up, Barba became aware of the fact that he was shirtless. For a moment, he was found himself staring at those arms of his.  
"Come on, I have to take your home so you can change." Barba said, clearing his throat. Amaro caught that he was drinking coffee. "Oh come on. At least let me have it now." Barba sighed, rubbing his forehead. Amaro shrugged and snatched his shirt from the ground. 

-*

"Wait in the car, I won't take long." Before Barba could answer, Amaro shut the door and walked away. Barba glanced at his watch and finished his drink. They had plenty of time.  
He looked out from the car window and watched. It was still early, but surprisingly there seemed to be numerous people outside. As Barba watched these people pass by, he wondered how many were abused at home. How many have been raped? He would never know. Some people will never go to the police due to fear or embarrassment. And because of those factors, they would probably never get the help they need. Barba sighed. You can't save them all.  
He glanced at his watch again. A good twenty minutes had passed, yet Amaro was nowhere to be seen. After a minute passed, Barba decided to check up on him. Quickly, he left his car and found the door to Amaro's house open.  
"Amaro?" He called out as he opened the door. The house was quiet except for the sound of low voices coming from the kitchen. He walked in and saw Amaro leaning against his fridge, focused on the television. Barba was about to speak up when he realized what was on.  
It was the news. But what was causing the sickening feeling in his gut was that they were giving details on the death of one of his best friends' death. Alex Muñoz.  
"Two other prisoners ganged up on him in the shower and stabbed Alex Muñoz 15 times before leaving him on the floor to bleed out. The two prisoners are-"  
Amaro shut off the television and turned to Barba. He had his mouth opened, prepared to say something, but he immediately closed it when he caught the look on Barba's face. It was now awfully pale, and he looked as if he wanted to vomit.  
"Hurry up, we have to go to work." Barba said after a moment or two. As he turned to leave, Amaro grabbed his upper arm tightly and pulled him back.  
"Rafi-"  
"No!" Barba snapped. "Don't you ever call me that and don't touch me!" Unwillingly, Amaro let Barba go and let out a sigh.  
"Fine. Sorry, Rafael." He said slowly. "But is this why you've been losing sleep? This isn't your fault, you know that right?"  
Barba laughed and ran his hand through his hair. Of course it wasn't his fault. He didn't make Muñoz sext an underage girl. Every action Muñoz took that led him to prison was his and his alone.  
"I know, I know, I know," Barba said in a low whisper, more to himself than Amaro, "but I still can't stop thinking about him, I really can't." Amaro was about to place a hand on his shoulder when he remembered Barba's little outburst, so he kept it at his side.  
"It's alright, I get it. He was like a brother to you. So of course his death is affecting you." Barba rubbed his temple.  
"The day it happened, Yelina called me." He muttered. "I was confused, because I hadn't spoken to her since Muñoz's case. She was screaming at me, saying it was my fault that her husband was dead. MY fault!" Barba chuckled and groaned. "According to her, I was threatened that another Cuban was going to be at the top; I was jealous of Muñoz because he had Yelina; she seemed to have forgotten her husband - Oh wait no, he's dead now - her ex had broken the law. Yet it was MY fault!" Barba was becoming hysterical, and he punched the wall. Amaro was alarmed at Barba's out-of-character behavior. He grabbed Barba's wrist to prevent it from doing anymore damage to his wall or his fist.  
"Hey, hey!" Amaro shook his wrist to make sure Barba was focused on him. "Look, Yelina just doesn't want to face facts. So, she's just trying to push the blame to you, got it?"  
"Damn it!" exclaimed Barba. "Damn it! But what if she's right? What if I was jealous; what if I was threatened? It's not that impossible. Oh god. I never had a chance to say anything to him. My best friend. It all had to end so bitter."  
Barba was falling apart. Right in front of Amaro again, but it was far too late to stop now. His mask had been broken, and all the misery he had dealt with inside was spilling out now. Amaro pulled him into a hug, but he didn't resist anymore. He need to feel another's warmth. He needed to feel something other than guilt and sorrow.  
His walls had been broken down by Amaro. His persistence had bugged the hell out of Barba. However, in the end Amaro had won.  
But Barba didn't mind too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but I finally finished part 2!  
> I do apologize if they are a bit out of character, for this is my first story.  
> Thank you everyone who has commented and favorited this story. I'll try to write more Baramaro and hopefully improve!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first Amaro/Barba fanfiction so please don't tear me up too much x). I tried my best to keep them in character. I'm not sure if this story is only going to be two parts or more. Anyway, please comment and tell me if there's anything I need to work on. I would appreciate it very much :)


End file.
